


Acceptance

by Zanyfish24



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Caring Ian Gallagher, Caring Mickey Milkovich, Carl Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich Friendship, Carl Gallagher-Centric, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Drunk Carl Gallagher, F/M, Gay Carl Gallagher, Gay Male Character, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, POV Carl Gallagher, POV Mickey Milkovich, Protective Mickey Milkovich, References to Depression, Teen Carl Gallagher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanyfish24/pseuds/Zanyfish24
Summary: Carl is struggling with a secret, and Ian and Mickey come to the rescue.
Relationships: Carl Gallagher/Original Male Character(s), Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 8
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot, but I think I might make it into a longer work later. I love Mickey and Ian being domestic, and I like the idea of them helping Carl. This is kinda mixed timeline, and not set in any specific season of the show.  
> Obviously, I don't own anything in the fandom.

Mickey P.O.V. 

Turning to face Ian I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. Ian’s face was peppered with red stubble, his eyelids concealing his beautiful green eyes. He was stunning. It had been a long night in the Gallagher house, V and Kevin had come over bringing tons of booze and food, everybody danced around the house, eating, talking, and finally sitting down to watch some T.V. together. The house had finally called it a night around 2 am, with Liam and Carl falling asleep across the room almost as soon as they lay down, and Ian drifting off a couple of minutes ago. Closing my eyes I thought about how grateful I was to finally have a family who cared about me. I may have had Mandy at one point, but she was long gone, and it seemed that everybody who was supposed to love me unconditionally left before I committed my first illegal act, which was saying something. But the Gallaghers were different, they loved me, they protected me, they treated me like one of their own.  
From across the room, soft cries could be heard. Mickey sat up thinking Liam was having a nightmare when he noticed Carl’s body gently shaking under his covers. Carl was turned toward the wall, bunched up under several blankets, only the tufts of his brown hair could be seen sticking out. Unsure of what to do Mickey sat in silence for a couple of moments. Deciding that he needed to go see what was wrong he carefully climbed over a sleeping Ian and padded over to Carl’s bed. He felt Carl stiffen and go quiet as he approached. 

“You okay?” Mickey asked, sitting down on the bed. 

“ I’m fine Mickey, go back to sleep. ” Carl said scooting closer to the wall. 

“Sure you are. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, it’s not important. Just forget about it okay.” Carl whispered. 

“Kid, I can obviously see that something is bothering you. I won’t judge you for whatever it is, I don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to doing things you are embarrassed by or regret.” He stared at Carl’s still form on the bed for a couple of minutes, “Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but you’ve been acting sketchy for a couple of days. I don’t know why, but if you need to talk I’m here. It’s better than you moping around the house for days” He gave Carl a shoulder squeeze, a hair ruffle and stood, turning away and walking toward Ian’s sleeping form. 

“Mick…..” 

“Yeah?” He said turning towards the voice. 

“Thanks....” Carl whispered, turning to face Mickey. His eyes still wet with tears, and his nose rosy red from rubbing it. 

“Any time kid,” Mickey said climbing back into bed next to his beautiful boyfriend.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next day Mickey had talked to Ian about what had happened the night before and they both agreed to keep an eye on Carl. Over the next week, Mickey and Ian grew steadily more worried about his behavior. He had stopped eating, and seemed to go to bed last, and get up earliest. He walked around like a zombie, and when anybody asked why they hadn’t seen Amanda he changed the topic quickly. 

“Mick, We need to talk to him,” Ian said one afternoon the second week of Carl watching. “He seems to be getting worse, and he’s obviously struggling with something. I’m worried.” 

“I know, but we can’t make him tell us what’s wrong, he has to want to talk to us. ” Mickey told Ian. 

“ I think we should sit him down, and ask him what’s going on. Maybe Friday? Debs and Lip have work, Liam has a sleepover with some rich kid from school, we will have the house to ourselves.” 

“ Sure, Sounds like a plan. ” Mickey said kissing Ian and picking up Franny who was hanging off of his leg. “Come on Pumpkin, let’s put you down for a nap huh. ” Mickey spoke softly to Franny who was falling asleep in his arms. 

Carl’s P.O.V.

Carl had faced some rough patches in his life, but never like the one he was facing now. He had tried the whole dating girls thing, but he didn’t get the same bliss out of the idea of sex with them as Lip did. He couldn’t even bring himself to fully have sex with his girlfriend Amanda, making up excuses every chance he got to avoid being alone with her. To be honest, he was scaring himself with his thoughts, he was starting to think he didn’t even like girls. He didn’t want to be gay. Ian was, and he and Mickey were in love, but Carl didn’t know how to deal with himself being gay. Maybe he just hadn’t met the right girl? But that didn’t explain the fluttery feeling he felt in his chest every time he saw his best friend Odi.

But that wasn’t his biggest problem. Amanda’s birthday was next week, and she wanted to have sex. Carl guessed he could just do it even if his heart wasn’t in it, but he couldn’t even bring himself to get aroused thinking about it. The thought of doing that with a girl, even one as beautiful as Amanda was wholly unappealing. Keeping all of his feelings bottled up was definitely taking its toll on him. Carl hadn’t been sleeping more than a couple of hours every night, he couldn’t eat, and every time Amanda was even mentioned he would get shaky, and feel his heart try to beat out of his chest. It was mortifying enough when Mickey had caught him crying last week and confronted him about it, but you could visibly see the strain his body was taking. And it seemed like Mickey and Ian were watching him more than usual. Knock, Knock, Knock. Carl was startled out of his reverie when he heard a series of loud knocks on the bathroom door. 

“Yo Gallagher, we need to talk to you.” He heard Mickey’s gruff voice yell. 

“We?” Carl asked although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer. 

“Yeah, we Carl. Please just come out so we can talk to you.” Ian’s voice came floating in. 

“Um, okay, just give me a minute okay.” Carl’s shaky voice responded. He stood up, his heart pounding, head spinning. Did they know? What were they going to say? Were they mad with him? He splashed some water on his face and gripped the sink tightly. 

“Kid, open up or I’ll break the door down.” He heard Mickey say. Carl moved over to the door slowly unlocking it and opening the door. He saw Ian standing leaning against the wall and Mickey pacing the hallway. Carl pushed his sleeves down and stared at the floor biting his lip almost drawing blood. Ian stepped forward wrapping his arm around his shoulders pulling him towards their room. 

“Let’s go sit down okay,” he said softly. Ian sat on the bed with Carl, and Mickey pulled up a chair sitting facing the bed. They both stared at each other, having a conversation through their eyes. 

“I think you know what this is about Carl, but I told Ian about the other night, and we are worried about you. You aren’t taking care of yourself, and it’s obvious something is bothering you.” Mickey spoke first. 

“We just want to help. You can talk to us about anything, we aren’t here to judge you. Okay?” Ian said softly, speaking to Carl as if he would break. Carl thought for a minute. How would he get out of this? Maybe he could just tell them……

“I…. I can’t….” Tears started to flow down his face, he dropped his head embarrassed. 

“It’s okay, just take your time okay, we aren’t going anywhere,” Ian said. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Carl started. “I’m so confused, and I don’t know what to do.” 

“What are you confused with?” Mickey asked. 

“I haven’t…. I haven’t you know… with Amanda” He said pointing at his lap. 

“You haven’t had sex with her?” Mickey asked surprised. “Do you not want to?”

“No. Well maybe. I don’t know. It’s not like I don’t want to, I just…. Can’t. I can’t get a…. Well, you know.” Carl said blushing. 

“Are you attracted to her?” Ian asked. Carl shook his head softly closing his eyes tears streaming down his face. 

“I think…. I think I’m…” Carl choked on his words. Ian and Mickey looked at each other surprised. This wasn’t what they had expected when they had wanted to talk to Carl tonight. Ian tilter Carl’s face toward him, and looked him in the eyes. His eyes were so full of pain and shame. 

“Carl, are you trying to tell us you’re gay?” Ian asked gently. Carl slowly nodded and started sobbing.

“It’s okay kid, we still love you. You haven’t changed, there is nothing wrong with being gay.” Mickey gently stated, looking at Carl with love-filled eyes. Ian wrapped Carl up in a strong hug while Carl started sobbing harder. He collapsed against Ian’s chest, gasping for air, while tears and snot ran down his face. 

“It’s okay buddy, it’s all okay. Everything is going to be alright.” Ian whispered rocking Carl in his arms. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to mess everything up. My friends are going to hate me. Amanda is going to hate me.” Carl sobbed out. 

“Listen to me,” Mickey said moving to Carl’s other side. “You haven’t done anything wrong. You can’t help who you love, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.” The three of them stayed like that until Carl’s breathing calmed down, and his tears stopped. 

“Carl, why didn’t you think you could talk to us. I mean us out of all people. If you hadn’t noticed we are gay.” Ian asked. 

“I just didn’t want to disappoint everybody. I mean I know the family will be cool with it, but all of my friends, Amanda, literally everybody on the South Side, expect me to end up with a girl.” He sighed. “ I didn’t want to be a burden. 

“You could never be a burden,” Mickey stated confidently. “ You don’t have to tell anybody yet if you aren’t comfortable with it, but you don’t need to hide Carl. You have people who love you, and you should never have to apologize for who you are.” 

“I just don’t know what to do, Amanda wants to have sex tomorrow because it’s her birthday,” Carl stated dejectedly. 

“Well bud, it sounds like you won’t be comfortable with that. Maybe you should tell her why you can't, or you could break-up with her. Either way, you shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do.” Ian told him. 

“Okay,” Carl said. “Thank you guys, it feels so good to have told somebody. I don’t think I’m ready to tell anybody else, but I’m glad I told you.” 

“Of course kid, don’t worry our lips are sealed,” Mickey said nudging his shoulder affectionately. “But listen, you need to take better care of yourself, okay? You need to eat, and you need to get some sleep.” 

“Okay, I promise I’ll try,” Carl said 

“We love you Carl, and nothing you could say or do will ever change that,” Ian said. 

“Even if you are a little shit.” Mickey added smiling. And for the first time in a long time, Carl felt relief and overwhelming love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate some comments about what you guys would like to see in this story, and how you are liking it so far.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl goes to a party, and the night falls apart. Mickey and Ian come to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter of Acceptance. It is set a few weeks after the first. I think this shows just how much Ian and Mickey care for Carl, and how much Carl is struggling. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Carl’s P.O.V  
It had been a couple of weeks since Carl had told Ian and Mickey that he was gay, and he was slowly starting to come to terms with it. He hadn’t told anybody else, but he had broken up with Amanda explaining to her that he didn’t think it was fair to stay together when he didn’t have feelings for her. It was a painful break up for several different reasons, but he felt better about his life than he had in ages. Mickey and Ian were being amazing, constantly checking on him and reminding him they were there for him. It was so comforting to know he had people who loved and supported him. 

His biggest problem was his growing crush on his best friend Odi. It was getting to the point where he couldn’t look at him without blushing and his stomach doing somersaults. Odi was the most attractive person Carl had ever seen. He had dark brown curls that fell loosely around his face. Freckles adorned his cheeks and nose, and his striking green eyes shined brightly and crinkled when he smiled. But Carl’s favorite part of his face were the dimples that showed themselves almost always. Odi was always happy, always laughing, always exuding a bright personality that was infectious. He momentarily made Carl forget about everything bad in his life. He was amazing, and Carl was truly fucked. 

Carl was startled out of his stupor by Odi plopping down next to him on the steps of his house. 

“Hey Carl! I have some super exciting news!” Odi exclaimed, turning to face Carl. He was wearing a worn out winter coat, and a cute black beanie that smashed his curls to his face. Carl though he looked adorable. 

“Hey! What’s up asshole?” 

“I got us invited to a party in the Chicago Loop!” 

“Who do you know who lives in the Chicago Loop?” Carl questioned 

“This guy my brother worked a job with knows a kid who goes to school there. He was supposed to go, but he’s making a run, so he told me to take his place. I got a plus one, so we can get in and steal some stuff, and leave before anybody notices!” Odi said happily. They could pawn the items they stole and get some serious cash. 

“ Sick! Do we have to get all dressed up and shit?” 

“Just wear your best clothes, we need to blend in if we are going to pull this off. I’ll meet you here at 9:00, don’t be late!” He said standing up and walking away. Carl stared after him longingly, thinking about how much he wanted to be holding his hand walking with him. 

\-------------------------------------------------5 Hours Later------------------------------------------------------------

Carl felt ridiculous. Period. He knew they needed to blend into the party, but god he looked like a douche. Lip had lent him some clothes so everything fit just a little bit off. His pants were a little long, and the shirt a little loose. His shoes were too tight, and the jacket sleeves were short. The whole ensemble screamed get me the fuck out of here. But if Odi ordered it, who was Carl to deny him? 

“Wow, you really bring shitty to a whole new level.” Odi said from behind him a smug smirk plastered all over his face. Carl turned and his breath was taken away. Odi was wearing fitted dress pants and a snug button-down shirt. His hair was gelled in place, with a few curls slipping through. He had silver jewelry adorning his fingers and neck. His muscles popped through his clothes, and his butt looked fucking fantastic. 

“Shut the fuck up, it’s all I had.” Carl retorted, blushing. “Plus you look like somebody I would beat with a baseball bat, so I don’t know if I’d be talking.” 

“Let's get going then, huh, or else we will get our asses kicked standing around in this neighborhood.” He said smartly, sauntering off towards the EL. The ride there was filled with scheming, smoking, and shit-talking. The usual. 

Arriving at the party was another story, Carl was completely out of his element, but like always Odi knew how to fit right in. He walked in like he owned the place, grabbing them drinks and looking around. The party was already packed with drunk teens acting like idiots. There was EDM music blaring from the speakers, and the lights were dimmed and colored blue and red. Odi and Carl stuck together pointing out people they thought looked stupid and drinking their weight in beer and vodka. Their plan of stealing shit had gone right out the window with their inhibitions. Carl had been guzzling drink after drink, grabbing Odi he moved to grind on the dance floor. His body buzzed with lust, excitement, and confidence. 

“Odi? Can I...I…. ask youuuu someeethinnng?” Carl slurred.

“Sure. What’s up?” Odi asked, not nearly as buzzed as Carl.

“Why don’t you like me?” Carl asked, whining.

“What do you mean Carl? Of course I like you, you're my best friend.” Odi said laughing. 

“Nooooooo. I mean why don’t you likkkeee me? Am I not attractive enough to fuck? Am I not good enough for you? I mean of course, I’m not good enough for you…… Nobody is. Your fucking perrrfect.” Carl said. 

“Carl…” Odi said hesitantly “I think maybe you’ve had a little too much to drink, why don’t we talk about this another time?” He started to pull Carl off the dance floor. 

“I’ll never be good enough. I’m worthless. Not even my fucking parents love me. FUUUCKK. What do I expect, obviously I’m a burden to everyone. But you, God, you are amazing. You know that?” Carl told Odi, obviously oblivious to Odi’s attempts to shush him.

“Carl, please you are not worthless, you don’t know what you are saying. Let's just get you some coffee from the diner a little way down, and you’ll be feeling better in no time.” Odi tried.

“And now you know. Shit. Shit. Shit. You fucking know. Shit. I can’t believe I told you that. Oh my god.” Carl started rambling, trying to pull away from Odi. 

“Carl, it’s okay. Calm down.” Odi soothed. 

“Shit. Oh my god. I need Ian and Mickey.” Carl was near incoherent now, sliding down the side of the building now that they had made it outside. “Please Odi. Ian and Mickey.” He was hyperventilating now. Odi had no idea what to do, he had never seen Carl like this. 

“Okay Carl. I’ll call them, just calm down please.” Odi said hurriedly. 

Mickey’s P.O.V.

Mickey and Ian were finally enjoying the house to themselves. Everybody else had made plans tonight, and they got to have a romantic dinner for two, and them some dessert….. They were cuddling on the couch watching James Bond when the phone rang. 

“Mick, could you please go grab my phone? I’m super comfy. Please.” Ian pleaded, showing Mickey his perfected puppy dog face. 

“God, Now I know who taught Franny how to beg you lazy ass” Mickey grumbled, moving Ian’s feet off his lap and sprinting up the stairs. He grabbed Ian’s phone and saw an unknown caller. 

“Yeah” He answered gruffly. 

“Hi is this Ian?” A slightly panicked voice said. 

“No, this is his boyfriend Mickey, who are you?” 

“I’m Carl's friend Odi. I think you need to come get him.” Odi rushed out. Mickey could hear somebody crying in the background and the sound of cars on the street. 

“What do you mean come get him? Where are you guys? Is he okay?” Mickey asked worriedly, pulling on his coat and taking the steps two at a time. He faced Ian, and with the look of an eye, Ian was doing the same, pulling on his shoes and grabbing his keys. 

“We went to this party in the Chicago Loop. We were just supposed to come for a little bit and leave, you know, a bit of fun. But Carl got a little drunk, said some things I don’t think he meant to say. He is freaking out and I don’t know how to calm him down. He asked for you and Ian.” 

“Fuck. Where are you guys exactly?” 

“Um… on the street by Elenours Elegant Pastries. It’s right by the EL, you can’t miss it.”

“Okay, we are on our way. Stay there! And if you hurt him, I’ll make sure you will never see him again. You understand?” Mickey said threateningly, now out of the house with Ian following.

“I understand, just please, get here soon.” Odi pleaded, hanging up. 

“FUCK!” Mickey yelled angrily, speeding up towards the EL. 

“Mick, what's going on?” Ian asked.

“What’s going on is that Carl and his friend went to some rich assholes party, and got plastered. Carls having some sort of breakdown and asked for us. His friend Odi called.” 

“What do you mean breakdown?” Ian asked. 

“I don’t know, but I could hear him in the background, he didn’t sound good.”

They stepped on the train together and sat down. Mickey couldn’t sit still thinking about Carl freaking out, feeling so scared and alone.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been the longest train ride of Mickey and Ian lives. They were both bursting with nerves by the time they were walking down the street towards Carl and Odi. Mickey saw them first and started working faster. Carl was slouched down his head in his knees, his body shaking with sobs, and he was hyperventilating. Odi was crouched next to him trying to sooth him to no avail. 

“What the fuck happened to him?” Mickey shouted angrily as he crouched down next to Carl.

“He started asking why I didn’t like him, and how he would never be good enough, how he was worthless. But I don’t know why he would think that he’s worthless. And then he just started freaking out. I can’t seem to calm him down.” Odi said in a small scared voice. 

“Odi, why don’t you head home, Mickey and I can take care of him. Okay?” Ian said calmly, crouching on the other side of the sobbing Carl. 

“Um, okay. Can you please have him call me tomorrow?” He gave one last worried look toward the group and walked away. Carl was now leaning into Mickey's side, and slowly starting to breathe a little easier. 

“Your okay Carl, you just gotta breathe okay. We are here now.” Mickey whispered soothingly. 

“I’m sooorrrry. I didn’t-I didn’t mean to ruin your night. I just- just needed you. I didn’t mean to tell him.” Carl said between small hiccups, and gasps for air. 

“It’s okay buddy, why don’t we get home, huh? We can talk about everything tomorrow morning.” Ian said. Mickey helped Carl stand up slowly, Ian on his other side to support him. Carl’s face was bright red, his cheeks and eyes puffy from crying. He smelled strongly of alcohol and smoke, and he was swaying slightly on his feet. 

“How much did you drink anyway.” Mickey asked.

“I dunno. I lost count after 4 shots…. I don’t feel so good though.” 

“Yeah no kidding bud, let's get home.You’ll feel better once you are in bed” Ian said. They started their slow walk towards the EL. It was mostly silent except for the sound of their shoes on the pavement, and Carl's groans every couple seconds. 

“Guys I’m gunna puke.” Carl gasped out, and moved to the edge of the sidewalk. Mickey rubbed his back while he puked and helped him wipe his face off. They started their walk again, occasionally stopping to let Carl throw-up or sit down when he got too tired. On the train Carl fell asleep with his head on Ian’s shoulder, while Mickey watched them. 

“God, He’s a fucking mess.” Mickey felt he had to say.

“Like you weren’t at his age.” Ian retorted. “But I will say this isn’t like him. Did you know he had a crush on that Odi kid?”

“No. But are you surprised he didn’t tell us? It’s not like he’s been exactly forthcoming with what he’s been going through. Tomorrow we will ask him what happened, but this was a long time coming.” Mickey pointed out. “I just feel for him, I remember how hard it is to come to terms with being gay. It takes time, and I just wish I could tell him not to be ashamed and it would be done.” 

“We could take him to a gay club? I mean as shitty of mother as Monica was she made sure I was never ashamed of who I was. We should do the same for him.” Ian stated. 

“That could be good for him.” Mickey responded. “Hey, this is our stop, lets go.” 

“I’ll carry him, he’s not waking up anytime soon.” Ian said gathering Carl up in his arms and walking off the train. They walked silently to the Gallagher house thinking about how much had happened in the last couple hours. Ian carried Carl up to his bed and laid him down. Mickey came in with a bucket and a glass of water and some ibuprofen. Ian propped Carl up with some pillows behind his back and turned him on his side. 

“Iaaannn.” Carl groaned, waking up slightly

“Hey kiddo, it’s okay, we are home now.” Ian whispered

“Don’t leave please.” Carl said softly. 

“Go to sleep. We aren’t going anywhere.” Mickey soothed, sitting down at the edge of the bed putting his hand on Carl's leg, as Carl drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate some comments about what you guys would like to see in this story, and how you are liking it so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl wakes up feeling terrible and doesn't remember the events of last night. Mickey and Ian explain what happened and Carl decides how to deal with Odi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody. This is a shorter chapter, but I think it is necessary to get into Carl's headspace going into the next chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Carl’s P.O.V.   
The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the pounding in his skull, and the waves of nausea that wracked his body. He knew he was at home in his bed from the smell of stale smoke, Ian’s hair gel and Mickey's deodorant, and the feeling of his lumpy mattress passed down from brother to brother. He squinted his eyes open and immediately closed them again. The bright light coming from the windows made his head throb harder. Ugh, what happened last night? He can’t remember anything past his 4th shot at the party. He tried opening his eyes again, and a dull throb attacked him once more. He spotted the water on the table next to him and grabbed it slowly. His hand was shaking badly and he spilled all over the floor and his chest. A wave of nausea crept up on him, and he knew that if he didn’t make it to the bathroom soon he was going to have an even bigger mess to deal with. He rushed out of bed ignoring his aching muscles and made it to the toilet retching up the rest of his stomach's contents. 

He leaned back against the wall and just sat for a minute. Carl didn’t think he had ever felt so bad in his life. Slowly standing and flushing the toilet he looked at himself in the mirror. Staring back at him was a tired, worn face. His usually bright blue eyes were a dull grey highlighted by his sickly pale clammy skin and dark undereye circles. His brown hair stuck to his face wet with sweat and his whole body was shaking. He looked horrible. He rinsed his mouth out and slowly made his way back to the bedroom. Somebody had obviously taken care of him because he was dressed in just boxers and socks, his clothes he’d worn the night before were laying in a neat pile at the end of his bed, and some pills were sitting next to the water he had sipped earlier. He also noticed an old bucket sitting on the floor by the headboard. He pulled on some sweatpants and an old hoodie that used to be Ian’s but was now too small on him. 

Sitting on his bed he grabbed his phone, dreading what awaited him. There were 5 missed calls from Odi and 10 unopened text messages. Fuck. What the hell happened last night. Carl hesitantly opened his messages from Odi. 

4:58 am: I’m so sorry that I just left last night. I know that you were with family, but I should have stayed with you.   
5:16 am: Btw, none of what you said last night is true. You aren’t worthless.   
6:00: Fuck Carl, we need to talk about last night okay. Please write to me when you read these.  
6:01: I know you are probably asleep but I promise I’m not mad. I just need to talk to you.   
6:34: Just so you know, I don’t think that you are a burden.  
7:00: I’m going to try and sleep, but I’m worried about you. Please let me know you are okay.   
8:12: I can’t sleep without knowing we are okay. You are the only thing in my life that keeps me sane.   
8:14: I can’t lose you as my friend.   
9:40: Your brother and his boyfriend seem nice.  
10:33: I’m sorry for bothering you, please don’t ignore me.

Carl just stared at his phone absorbing what he read. Now he was really confused and even more anxious. Why did Odi think that he was mad at him? What the fuck did Carl say last night? And why the hell were Mickey and Ian with him last night? He knew he should call Odi back, but he needed to know what happened first, and that required moving from his bed and Carl was feeling truly terrible. The last message was less than an hour ago, and Odi wouldn’t stop messaging until he responded, but he just didn’t have the energy to talk to him right now. He turned off his phone and threw it in the drawer on his bedside table. He took the pills with a gulp of water and buried himself in his covers. He was drifting to sleep when he heard the squeak of the bedroom door and some footsteps. 

“Should we wake him up?” He heard Ian ask somebody softly. 

“Nah, let the kid sleep. He looks horrible.” Mickey’s voice speaks up. He heard a glass clinking, probably somebody grabbing the empty glass of water, and felt a rough hand rub his back softly. The last thing that Carl heard was receding footsteps and the squeak of the door closing.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next time Carl woke up the room was less bright and he felt slightly better. His headache was more like a slight throb instead of the hammer-like feeling from before, and his body didn’t swim with nausea every time he moved. The glass of water had been replaced with a bottle of Gatorade, and an extra blanket had been put on top of him. Carl guessed it was either Ian or Mickey. His head was swimming with doubts and anxiety and he needed to talk to them. Maybe they could fill in some of the gaps and explain what the fuck he had gotten himself into. He briefly thought of checking his phone but thought better of the idea. Reading Odi’s panicked messages was not going to help with his growing anxiety. 

Walking was still a chore, but not nearly as torturous as it was that morning. He quickly used the bathroom and started the walk down the stairs. He took them slowly, still slightly unsteady on his feet. The first thing he noticed was how quiet the house was, and the second was the couple cuddled up on the couch. Carl could see Ian’s bright red hair sticking up above the back of the couch, and Mickey’s leg thrown over the edge of the cushions. It was like he was interrupting an intimate moment between the two. He stood awkwardly at the bottom of the steps before clearing his throat slightly. They both sat up and looked at him with soft smiles and sympathetic eyes. 

“Hey shithead, how you feeling?” Mickey spoke first, as he gestured for him to join them in the living room. 

“Honestly. Like I was run over by a fucking train.” Carl said sitting down.

“Yeah, you were pretty trashed last night. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you more drunk.” Ian said. Mickey nodded, sipping his beer silently. The sight made Carl want to gag, the thought of ever drinking again was sickening. 

“Um, I don’t remember much, I was hoping you could fill in some blanks,” Carl mumbled. 

“That doesn’t surprise me, kid, you were a mess. What's the last thing you can remember?” Mickey asked. Carl cringed at the fact that they had seen him in that position last night. 

“I remember doing shots with Odi, and trash-talking the rich kids at the party. The next thing I know I’m waking up in my bed with the worst hangover known to mankind.” Carl explains shuddering from the memory of waking that morning.

“We don’t really know the details from before we came and got you but-” Ian started. 

“What do you mean came and got me? Why couldn’t I get home by myself?” Carl interrupted.

“You wouldn’t have made it a block with your condition last night. Odi called, panicking, saying we needed to come to get you. He said that you were drunk and said some things that you didn’t mean to say and were having some sort of breakdown. Asking him questions about why he didn’t like you, and the fact that you would never be good enough.” Carl looked up from his hands horrified at Ian’s words. 

“What?!?” Carl exclaimed. “Fuck.” He started hyperventilating a bit. 

“Calm down kid, you are going to give yourself a fucking heart attack.” Mickey scolded.

“How the FUCK do you expect me to calm down?!? I outed myself to my best friend, my fucking crush! Don’t tell me to calm the fuck down!” Carl yelled standing up, slightly angry but more than anything scared. Ian moved to grab his hands, and sat him back down on the couch, and kneeled in front of him. 

“Bud, I don’t think freaking out is going to get us anywhere. I know it is scary okay, but your friend didn’t seem angry or freaked out by what you told him, he just seemed worried about you. Even if things don’t go well you will always have us to support you. It’s going to be okay alright?” Ian spoke confidently. “Why don’t you take a deep breath and we can finish explaining. Can you do that?” 

“Yeah. Sorry, Mick.” Carl mumbled.

“It’s okay, I’ve been there, no apology necessary.” He reassured Carl, cuddling back up with Ian and smiling at him softly. 

“So we hopped on the EL and we came to get you. You were having a full-blown panic attack by the time we got to you. We told Odi to leave and calmed you down enough to get you home. You were passed out by the time we got back, and we put you in bed.” Ian explained. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you do all that.” Carl apologized ashamedly. 

“It’s okay like we told you before, we are always here for you.” Ian soothed. 

“Thanks,” Carl whispered. “Do you think I should call him back?”

“I think you should do what you want to do, but if you like him I think you owe him the truth. Especially after last night. He seems to really care for you.” Said Ian. 

“But what if I lose him as a friend? He’s my best friend. My only friend.” Carl said. 

“Then he doesn’t deserve your crazy ass,” Mickey added. “Look Carl, the only person who knows what you want is you, but you shouldn’t let fear ruin your life. Look at me, I was so scared of my dad, of being who I really was that I pushed away the one thing in life I really wanted.” He looked so guiltily at Ian and then back at Carl. “Being open, and accepting myself was the first step to being happy. Just think about it, okay?” He finished. Carl nodded in confirmation, surprised by how open Mickey was being with him. They got up to go make dinner, leaving Carl alone to think about what he was going to do.

The rest of the night went as smoothly as it could. He ate with Ian and Mickey, Debbie, Franny, and Liam joining them for spaghetti and a bagged salad. It was a calm dinner, Liam talked about his sleepover the night before, and Debbie explained her day out with Franny. Carl was content to stay quiet and listen to his family. He watched the deadliest catch until he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Right before he went to bed he texted Odi one message. 

2:00 am: I’m sorry I didn’t respond earlier. I just needed some time to think. I’m okay. Meet me behind the laundromat at 4:00 tomorrow. G'night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate some comments about what you guys would like to see in this story, and how you are liking it so far.


End file.
